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I just ask that they not use the NIKY name. And I do thank op for the edit. It is much appreciated. Most kinky groups unfortunately see a lul during the winter months.

We see It too. We have restarted socials now that it's getting warmer again and we can go to our usual spot. Sometimes leadership can become top heavy.

In this case more leadership is not the magic fix all. While leadership was busy, response to other socials was sparse and unfortunately those interested did not have a cohesive availability.

Most groups see a decrease in attendance over the winter as family obligations take over, ours is no different. The affect on the group however is more dramatic as our participating membership is smaller.

With all the demand we're hoping to see more attendance either at an official NIKY event or at member organized gatherings. Drama, and that's what it is, like this is exactly what turns a lot of people off of the local groups.

The "We're too busy to plan events, but now we're not, but even when we were we don't want help! I'm sorry, but it's so fucking frustrating when people say that.

It takes more than two people to run a group, even a small one. People need to be adults, suck up their pride, and ask for help. Or take it when its offered.

We're all after the same thing here. Why there has to be so much drama and wank and butthurt is beyond me. It's a huge turnoff, and it's exactly why Omaha, despite all the available houses, will never get an awesome private house to share for events like Austin or other cities have.

I was talking with someone who's newer to town last night about this very thing, and they said it's exactly why they haven't gone to more events.

It's why my husband and I don't go to more events as well. The whole "You go to this group too, so we don't want you at ours or will look down at you because you're friends with X" attitude that can sometimes permeate this area is stupid.

Unfortunately drama happens in any social circles where there are more than a handful of close friends. Difference of opinions are inevitable.

Quilting groups, homeowners associations all have drama as well. If you want zero drama then your not going to be a member of any large group.

Perhaps another leader would help but you characterizing this as refusing help seems off. I haven't seen anyone volunteering to help and being turned away and from this post and ones on fet the OP did not offer help first.

What really gets me thing is all of this happened on Monday on fet, the leaders responded asking the OP to not use the Niky name and to not try and represent herself as a Niky leader and the very next day she comes and posts in half a dozen sub reddits some of those posts she has deleted the exact same thing.

It seems like she thought she could get away with it on reddit when she got called out on it on fet. It doesn't inspire a lot of confidence that she really wants to work with the existing leaders on help them with socials when she never offered to help either initially as far as I can tell or tried to work with them after all the posts on fet.

For a group our size, an average turn out of 15 people including leadership, our friends we talk into coming, and new people, 2 people as admin is more than enough.

In this case help was not offered; a member decided to host a social and pose as NIKY leadership. The only issue with this social was the use of NIKY as a way to validate their gathering.

I'm sorry you're frustrated, but for planning the main NIKY events help isn't needed. It's finding that balance that works not only with our demographic, but not scheduling over top of any of the existing groups.

As our demographic ranges from collage kids to working young adults with young families finding a time that will meet most peoples needs is difficult.

I hope that this meet takes off, I don't care who is hosting the meets, I simply care about transparency and how someone is portraying themselves.

For that matter you didn't either, you can't have it both ways. I agree that people should feel free to attend events without worry what others in the community will think.

We are happy to welcome anyone in the age group regardless of what events or social circles they may or may not be part of.

Our goal is to make younger people interested in BDSM feel welcome and help them connect to the rest of the community. Why would I go to an organization where the so called new leader is closed minded.

Including this submission from a few days ago:. My initial thought was that OP should just create a new group with a new name and the drama goes away with using the NIKY name.

However, acceptance and tolerance is very important in these communities.

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